>In the tradition of all new mothers who want and need to tell their war stories, and to preserve it while I can still remember vividly… here’s the story of Caleb’s birth…
February 11, we had a doctor’s appointment in the morning. We waltzed in at 9:30 and I had only the smallest glimmer of hope that the doctor might say it was time and we could go ahead and deliver. I even skipped my lovenox injection that morning, hoping against hope, having had enough of heartburn, backache, and that feeling of your hips about to fall apart completely. And sure enough… ultrasound wand in hand, my fairy godmother of a perinatologist said “Not enough fluid. Time to take baby today.” I looked at Dwayne and gave him the thumbs up. He freaked.
So while they called my OB, we started on the call list, letting everyone know it was time, and setting the plan in motion. We finally got settled in a Labor and Delivery suite and by around 2:00 pm, out came the pitocin. Dreaded drug of every mother who has experienced it’s excruciation. (Is that a word? Is now, I guess!!) I had decided if I ended up needing pitocin that I was going to opt for an epidural. So the nurse sent for anesthesia. No dice. Evidently epidurals can’t be administered until 24 hours after a lovenox injection at the risk of paralysis. Unfortunately the pitocin was dripping into my IV already and labor had begun. It wasn’t so bad…. yet. But I was scared out of my mind. Laboring on pitocin with no pain relief was NOT in my plan.
I set myself a goal to hang in there until 9:30pm, my 24 hour mark, so I could get that epidural. Ha. Ha ha ha. Around about 5:00 or so, things started to intensify. The kids had all been hanging out in the room with me and I was tolerating contractions really well, but at this point it was getting intense and I wasn’t sure I wanted my little ones (or big ones) to see me that way. They went to grab some food and while they were gone, Dwayne helped me to the bathroom. Something about standing up made things shift into overdrive. I had a couple of contractions on that bathroom trip that nearly had me on the floor. Thank goodness my man can hold me up!
He got the nurse and she checked dilation. 8 centimeters. At this point I’m squeezing the crap out of Dwayne’s hand and the tears are starting. The nurse offered me Stadol, saying it would take the edge off and would only last about an hour or so. I agreed, thinking it would get me through to 9:30. Ha. Ha ha ha.
So in goes the Stadol through the IV and while the nurse injects it, I tell her: “OK, I’m not pushing, but my body is. My body is pushing the baby out.” She takes this as a tip that I might be ready to push. Hmmm… Another dilation check and sure enough! 10 Centimeters!! Call the OB!! He runs over and through a Stadol haze, I could see them bringing in delivery equipment. The part about taking the edge off? I’m not so sure. But Stadol does produce intoxication. That I know.
My husband was still holding my hand and reassuring me, drying my tears as usual. I heard the doc say “You can push now.” Out came Caleb’s head, and one more push, out came his body. I opened my heavy eyelids and my beautiful son was there. Doctor Hogan put him on my chest and Dwayne cut the cord. Then we both cried. Actually all three of us cried! We did it!
We brought all our kids in to see him, Nathan, Jessica (Caleb’s godmother and sister in law), Mackenzie, Levi and Mel (Dwayne’s nephew and Caleb’s godfather). We all spent a few minutes together before Caleb had to go to the nursery because of his breathing.
In hindsight, the Stadol totally wasn’t worth it. Didn’t help the pain that much and it made me intoxicated for my son’s first moments. A fact I regretted intensely when he ended up in NICU and I couldn’t hold him or feed him whenever I wanted. I cried and cried. But looking back, my memory of the experience is fairly clear. I’m thankful to be able to remember in spite of the drug fog.
All in all, a gorgeous little son has been born. A miracle. My Caleb had to fight to get here and fight to stay and fight he did, just like his namesake Caleb in the Bible. Our family is overjoyed and I’m having too much fun being a mommy of a newborn again. Here we are: