It’s a new year! And I’m kinda scared…
Just telling the truth.
I’m having a hard time being positive. Do you ever feel like that? Like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop? Like you know everything’s good but are ever looking for whatever might lurk ahead? Like you can’t fully appreciate the beauty of now because you let imagined and real fears steal the moment?
Just me, huh? 🙂
I’ve been thinking about resolutions and wanting to make some and yet have felt kind of paralyzed by the what-if’s of 2015. It’s a new year. A new slate. Another gift. And yet what if if holds things that hurt? This is so depressing isn’t it???
This morning I cried while telling my husband how I feel like I should be past this. I feel like it’s a rookie faith mistake and like God deserves better from someone He’s brought so far. I mean at some point, faith comes outside the Sunday School and enters the everyday choices of a believer’s life. That’s when the real adventure is. I’m not a rookie. I’ve been following Jesus a long time. So what do I do?
1) Reflect on where I’ve been with God. See, God and I have been some bad places already and He was enough. He will be enough no matter what the future brings. I have His impeccable track record to go by.
2) Release my grip. Even in the face of fear, I can make a choice to open my clenched emotional fist and let go of my expectations, good and bad. I can choose to trust Romans 8:28 and believe the truth of it.
3) Run toward my life. Once I’ve made a choice to trust God, I am free to embrace life and not resist it. I don’t need to back up, or even walk timidly forward. I can RUN right into my great big overwhelming life.
Fear happens. Sometimes the feeling is more intense for me than others. I think it’s not the presence of fear, but how we deal with it that makes the difference. So even though I feel like a big chicken, I am not going to BECOME a chicken. Chickens aren’t really notorious for joyous living, ya know? True believers on the other hand… well, they ARE. So I’m gonna go ahead and resolve away, alright?? Alright.
* Make some basic doctor appointments and dental appointments, (Another fear to overcome) and keep working toward a healthier life by continuing my exercise and continuing to practice balance in my diet.
* Do something I’m not sure I can do.
* Laugh more.
* Unplug one night each week.
* Take a family vacation.
So there they are, out there for the world to see. My resolutions for the year 2015. Bring it on!!