Just had our fourth wedding anniversary. We had a lil’ weekend getaway.
There was this.
Our getaway involved several hours alone to just reconnect. We’ve had lots of “you and me” but building an “us” has been a bit more challenging. Sometimes it seems our four years have flown by. Sometimes it seems an eternity since we’ve struggled through so many things.
We’re still working on it, but it was really good to be reminded that there is more to us than pee-peeing on the potty, driver’s ed, 4th grade homework, and eating your vegetables. We’re more than what we fight about, more than our perpetually empty checking account and perpetually packed to-do lists.
To keep it real, ya’ll, we’ve sometimes acted as if neither of us learned a darn thing from our first failures. We’ve approached this marriage like two dummies expecting to “stick in a thumb and pull out a plum” as my daddy would say. Oh, we knew second marriages are difficult, but OURS would be different, right? Right. Keep on dreamin’, honey.
Four years and about four MILLION “discussions” later, we are learning how to stop collecting retribution for past hurts from each other, though we had nothing to do with each others’ pasts. We are learning (who, me?) how to leave well-enough alone, how to give each other some space for grace. We’ve finally begun to quit trying to force our individual ways of doing things on one another and instead we’re starting to figure out our COLLECTIVE way of doing things. I think we’re about to get on the same team here, people!
We ain’t perfect, yall. But things are lookin’ bright.
And Honey, if you read this sometime… I had the best weekend with you. Happy Anniversary!